Blag Dahlia, The Fresh Prince Of Darkness, Gregory Pecker, Clint Torres and Chip Fracture make a welcome return to Bristol, and this time around we have local metallers Koshiro opening up the bill for the rock legends known as The Dwarves. I know it's a weekend but Koshiro's bass player can't even be bothered to turn up for probably the support slot of his lifetime, however, judging by their generic open string metalcore chugging that the band have to offer us I can see why he may have made that decision - I'm not impressed. 

Next up were Girl Spit from Doncaster and, in fairness, they had some pretty decent songs in their set. Delivering a decent garage punk vibe especially on their opener that had more than a hint of the Buzzcocks in it (but I'll beef hooked if I could work out what it was called), which is always a welcome comparison in my songbook. Vocalist Rob prowled the dance floor like a good 'un and had plenty of attitude even if he did pick a fight with the mic stand and let's just say I'd call it a draw. Maybe the thing to do is bring your own and find out how it works but it was all good and Girl Spit are a band I'd definitely investigate further and if they're playing in your town then I'd definitely advise you to check 'em out too.

Right, let's not fuck about anymore; tonight was all about the headliners and having released one of THE albums of the year in the shape of 'The Dwarves Are Born Again' this was only ever going to be a top night of entertainment. The last time they were in this very city it was at a cool dive bar the size of a squash court that was way over capacity - tonight was in the more palatial Thekla and for those piratey folks reading - yup, it's a boat! How cool is this? One of THE best garage punk bands in one of THE best music venues in the UK today. Win/Win in my boat...sorry book. 

As the intro to Mighty Mouse fades out it's heads down and we're off. Now if you decided to go for a medium length piss and a pint or a smoke outside then I can safely say you can kiss goodbye to almost half of a Dwarves set. This one tonight almost reaching a prog rock 36 minutes!! Have the Dwarves sold out I hear you ask? Next time they'll be doing encores! 

This was in your face potty-mouthed breakneck speed punk rock of the highest order, and without a note dropped we were treated to almost 30 songs in that 36 minutes. In amongst that lot we had something from every era of the band from the opening 'Dominator', 'We Must Have Blood', 'FEFU (reworked as The Ting Tings 'That's Not My Name')', 'Everybody's Girl', 'Smack City', 'Demonica' and to close this beast out was the superb anthem 'The Dwarves Are Still The Best Band Ever' (from one of this year's best albums) and who am I to argue with that? I mean how good is it to see a couple of hundred people mouthing the words "Let's get high and fuck some sluts" - poetic genius! 

There were more songs with the word 'fuck' in aired tonight than you could shake a fucking shitty fucking stick at, but sadly still no 'Salt Lake City'. However it would be churlish of me to complain about The Dwarves missing out one classic song in a set crammed full of classics.  The band is absolutely on fire at the moment but when aren't they? Come to think of it a Dwarves gig is always an event with so much going on in such a short space of time seeing them in full flight is a beautiful thing. The energy would be hard to match for any band half these rock legends' age and what Blag and his merry men give is nothing short of incredible. 

Whilst mainstream magazines are full of the next big things claiming to be "alternative" and "edgy" or "dangerous" and "kings of the live show" I can tell you right now either those guys haven't copped a face full of The Dwarves or they are too fucking scared to.  

To crown a great Dwarves gig we also get treated to some girls fighting in the mosh pit, and the ghost of Russ Meyer surely must only be a few yards away gland in hand. Seeing the Dwarves destroy audiences with the sheer brutality of the music they produce will always be a pleasure and never ever a chore. The Dwarves are born again sluts and they're kicking and screaming with a big middle finger in the air to anyone and everyone around them. Simply fucking awesome!