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Uber Rock's Top 20 Glam Albums Of All Time!!! Print E-mail
Written by Ross Welford   
Saturday, 03 September 2011 05:00

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Glam: The butt of jokes. The bands that most magazines forgot and seemingly wiped from their memories. It's not metal. How can they be 'proper' musicians when they wear make-up? It's shite. It has no substance. It's not serious music........I've heard it all before. A lot.

 

But do you know what?? They'd be so wrong, I'm embarrassed for them.

 

There may have been bands that took the image far too seriously or were merely there for a laugh and had seemingly no talent, but I could say that about any genre of metal and rock, from the NWOBHM to thrash or the commercial killers of glam, grunge.

 

That's life. That's music.

 

This is a celebration of a style of music that refuses to lie down and be killed. The amount of bands that got signed in the heady period of the mid and late Eighties was simply staggering, reflected in the fact that 83 different bands received votes in this Uber Poll! Those that do not understand the appeal of this music are simply the losers in life's musical lottery and to those that did vote, I applaud you with your choices. If you've never heard these albums before or have simply forgotten how good they are, slip them back into your listening pile and rejoice.

 

 


20.) Warrant - 'Cherry Pie' (1990)

 

album-cherry-pieWith a foot standing firmly in the cheap and disposable camp, Warrant seemed to be a prime example of style over substance. Having already recorded their debut 'Dirty, Rotten, Filthy, Stinking Rich' (just outside the Uber Top 20 ) this follow up pandered to the money men and ultimately will be remembered for the title track and video rather than the quality of songs like 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' elsewhere on the album. The fact Jani Lane felt so blighted by their undoubted biggest and most remembered hit, is a reminder that scratching the surface sometimes can reveal a pot of gold beneath ......if you bother to look. Seemingly plenty still regard Warrant as more than just a band with one song.


19.) Hardcore Superstar - 'Bad Sneakers And A Pina Colada' (2000)

 

bad-sneakers-pina-colada-The newest album to enter our Uber list and deservedly so. Sweden had long carried the flag of glam and sleaze whilst America looked on and this slice of balls-out rock coupled with Crue-like attitude and hooks galore was primed to make them stars overnight, albeit mainly European ones. From the off, this is a complete album full of killer tunes including the brilliant 'Liberation', the punk rock attitude and sound of 'Hello/Goodbye' and the softer moment in 'Someone Special'. This may not be original on closer inspection but it helped bring a whole new, younger audience to the table and kept the old guard on their toes.


18.) Spread Eagle - 'Self Titled' (1990)

 

spread-eagle-cd-cover-artYou know Uber Rock readers rule when Spread Eagle gets a Top 20 airing. Hailing from NYC and getting a deal within months of starting up the band, most of this debut album was written in the studio and recorded almost instantly. Unlike many of their contempories, Spread Eagle financed and produced the video for the hit single 'SwitchBlade Serenade' when label bosses at MCA couldn't be bothered to retain their interest. Although the follow up, 'Open To The Public', failed to live up to expectations it was more about the changing scene than the failure of the band. They will always be remembered for 'Switchblade Serenade' but if you've never heard the band, this whole album is a sleazy treat.


17.) The Dogs D'amour - 'In The Dynamite Jet Saloon' (1988)

 

Dogs-DAmour-InThe Americans may have ruled the roost but in London band The Dogs D'amour the English had found a band that could turn their hand to a style all of their own - albeit stolen from The Faces and The Stones. Lead singer Tyla wrote songs that poets would be proud of and his throaty rasp made their hardcore lifestyle easily believable. Songs titles such as 'How Come It Never Rains', 'Debauchery', 'Last Bandit' and 'Heartbreak' tell you all you need to know about the English Troubadours that never truly lifted their heads from the gutters (The Dogs would have been a lot higher in this Top 20 if it wasn't for the fact that three albums received votes, somewhat splitting their final total.)


16.) Love/Hate - 'Wasted In America' (1992)

 

LOVEHATE2With the initial songs written for their sophomore release rejected by their record label, Love/Hate relocated to New York to work on 'Wasted In America', the 1992 follow up to debut album 'Blackout In The Red Room'. It may not have been received well by the men in suits but this classic slice of Love/Hate had all the trademarks of bassist Skid's sarcastic wit and musical nous all wrapped up by singer Jizzy Pearl's immense screech-like vocal delivery. 'Evil Twin', 'Tranquilizer', 'Spit', 'Miss America' and the title track all still regularly feature in Love/Hate's set for a reason - they rock hard.

 


15.) Cinderella - 'Long Cold Winter' (1988)

 

Cinderella20-20Long20Cold20WinterWho'd have thought that Cinderella would end up recording a hard rock glam classic after the hair and image of their debut? Tom Keifer suddenly went serious and took the band to a blues tinged area of rock that glam never truly took hold of since Aerosmith and the Stones. The writing, both musically and lyrically, captured a sound that stills sounds amazing to this day. The balladry of 'Don't Know What You Got......' may have won the plaudits but it's the harder, rockier vibe of 'Gypsy Road' and 'Fallin Apart At The Seams' that really capture the band in all their glory.

 


14.) Junkyard - 'Self Titled' (1989)

 

junkyard-hands-offLA band Junkyard were the hard hitting, AC/DC loving opposites of hair bands such as Poison and Pretty Boy Floyd. All you need to know is wrapped up in their hit single 'Hollywood', a guitar based, Southern tinged ode to the glam capital. Less glam and more rock, Junkyard, who featured Minor Threat guitarist Brian Baker, saw little in terms of commercial success but proof that the world at large thought they were doing something right is proved here by being number 14 on our list.

 

 


13.) Pretty Boy Floyd - 'Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz' (1989)

 

PrettyboyfloydSteve 'Sex' Summers. Kristy 'Krash' Majors. Vinnie Chas. Kari Kane. Pretty Boy Floyd epitomised the DIY, style over substance stereotype and they didn't care one bit. They were here for the ride and they were going to enjoy it until it ended. The press may not have been kind (nor a Canadian band sharing the same name) but the fans saw bubblegum classics in 'Rock And Roll' and the title track. The fact they were the best looking females that never were just seemed to help their cause.

 

 


12.) Sea Hags - 'Self Titled' (1989)

 

SeaHags-frontIf ever a band came and left a massive footprint on this genre without ever really raising their head above the precipice, then it was San Francisco's Sea Hags. A band so guttural and real that their star seemed destined to burn so bright that ultimately, it was no surprise it blew out totally. Mike Clink produced this album (with Kirk Hammet producing an early demo, as he also did with Vain ) and such was the excitement that had started to surround the band, and with songs such as 'Half The Way Valley', 'Back To The Grind' and the sassy 'In The Mood For Love', you could see why. A famous quote allegedly attributed to their manager summed it up - "There's only so far you can go with three junkies and an alcoholic." Twenty years later, it still stands up.


11.) Cinderella - 'Night Songs' (1986)

 

1986_NIGHT_SONGThe fact Cinderella have two albums just outside the Top Ten explains more about the band than expected - loved by many, yet not quite enough to make the jump to the next level. This debut gets the nod over the classier all round effort of 'Long Cold Winter' yet songs such as 'Shake Me', 'Somebody Save Me', 'Push, Push' and the title track are so instantly catchy that maybe we shouldn't be so surprised? It may have been seen by many as just another hair band but this set of ten songs clearly defined the band and why this debut remains in the heart of so many.

 


10.) Skid Row - 'Self Titled' (1989)

 

skidrowAs bombastic and anthemic as any debut recorded, this New Jersey band were more than just Bon Jovi's bitches. Sebastian Bach may have got the plaudits with his massive voice and character but the song-writing skills of Snake Sabo and Rachel Bolan should never be questioned. Hits such as 'Youth Gone Wild', 'I Remember You' and '18 And Life' may be the instant focus but the whole album is full of killer tracks including the powerful 'Big Guns' and 'Sweet Little Sister'. Success seemed to be their destiny until Bach got LSD* and ruined it for everyone. Everything was in place for this monster debut and it still demands to be played LOUD. (*Lead Singer Disease)


9.) Hanoi Rocks - 'Back To Mystery City' (1983)

 

back-to-mystery-city-hanoi-rocksIt's only right that Hanoi Rocks and lead singer Michael Monroe achieve a Top Ten place. Never commercially successful, never fully getting the break they deserved and yet nearly anyone you talk to will tell you how good they are. The Backyard Babies, The Foos, The Manics and Axl Rose have all declared their love openly for the Finnish legends. This, their third studio album, may not be perfect and has since been listened to by countless bands achingly trying to recreate the charm and basic edge that it displays, yet they all fall short of the torch bearing standards that the band set. They were there at the start for a reason - they arguably were the start.


8.) Motley Crue - 'Too Fast For Love' (1981)

 

toofastForget the hype, forget the stories, forget the monster they became. THIS is where it all started and glam would never be the same again. Four men with a passion, hunger and undoubted talent (albeit bubbling under at this point). Releasing it on their own Leathur Records label before the money men came in to polish it up, this is the sound of a new beginning. What did you get? Mick Mars giving riffs galore as the Blond Bombshell Vince Neil wailed over the top like his life depended on it, Tommy Lee with the most out of time, excited drumming you'll hear on record (hit that cowbell, Tommy!) and all the while Nikki Sixx's tunes were becoming the start of a thunderous revolution. They may have stolen from everyone but The Crue pushed the boundaries and broke down the doors - and we should all be thankful.


7.) Love/Hate - 'Blackout In The Red Room' (1990)

 

love-hate-blackout-cover1Staying around longer than anyone gave them credit for and never being the record companies favourites, America's Love/Hate rode the glam wagon yet never seemed to truly tick the glam boxes. They weren't fluffy bunnies out to play, they were raw, energetic, self confessed 'stoopid' and went against the grain because that was simply what they felt. Take one look at the tracks on this debut and you realise why, whilst never being truly massive in the States, the UK took them to their hearts - 'Why Do You Think They Call It Dope', 'She's An Angel', 'One More Round', 'Tumbleweed', 'Mary Jane' and the frantic genius of 'Hell Ca,Pop 4'. Jizzy, Skid, Jon and Joey may never have gotten the money and fame but two albums in the Top 20 prove that they definitely made their mark.


6.) Vain - 'No Respect' (1989)

 

VAIN1Formed in California but going against the grain and relocating to San Francisco, Vain, fronted by the ever self-believing Davy Vain, oozed sex and the songs and image reflected that. 'Beat The Bullet', '1000 Degrees', 'Icy', 'Who's Watching You' and this debut album's title track all remain classics to this day. Vain never made the massive leap into our homes as the onslaught of grunge started to close in but slip this classic in your stereo and try not thinking you're a sex god strutting around.

 

 


5.) Faster Pussycat - 'Self Titled' (1987)

 

Faster-Pussycat-Faster-PussycatSleazy, dirty and sex obsessed. What more can you ask for from one of the scene's leading lights? Their song writing may have improved dramatically by the time of their second album, 'Wake Me When It's Over', but it's their debut that still gets the purists hot under the collar. 'Don't Change That Song' (coupled with its Russ Meyer directed, big breasted video), 'Cathouse', 'Bathroom Wall' and 'Babylon' are pure glam classics that make you instantly want more pussy......cat. If you don't get the feeling of sex dripping off of every groove, then watch the band on The Decline Of Western Civilisation Part 2 : The Metal Years and tell me you wouldn't want to have been there. Class has never been so dirty.


4.) Motley Crue - 'Shout At The Devil' (1983)

 

album_Motley-Crue-Shout-at-the-DevilThis is the point when the world started to take notice and go "Wow" : Take the debut, make it harder sounding, add a futuristic, darkly atmospheric intro, make the cover black with an embossed pentagram on it, place a picture of the band in nightmare ghoulish make up on the rear and then cover the seminal Charles Manson-approved Beatles track 'Helter Skelter' - Could it have gotten any more FUCK YOU than that??? That's before you get to the real gems of the album. The title track is a stone cold, no arguments classic, Mick Mars continues his one man mission to shred like a bastard on tracks such as 'Looks That Kill', Tommy Lee hits his groove on the brilliant 'Red Hot', Vince Neil makes you smell the filth on 'Ten Seconds To Love' and Nikki Sixx's song-writing continues to grow to epic proportions feeding the band with material only the best can conjure up. Many opinions get split on the band and what they came to represent but The Crue, hands down owned and set the standards for all that followed.


3.) LA Guns - 'Self Titled' (1988)

 

laguns1LA Guns were surely born to be massive? Tracii Guns put the Guns in Guns N' Roses, Phil Lewis was already a star in the underrated British band Girl, Kelly Nickels was a founding member of Faster Pussycat and Steve Riley had already been in W.A.S.P. Equally as Sleazy as FP yet decidedly darker, they were hard hitting, confident and with songs that came close to matching GnR and The Crue - this was the sound of a band grabbing their opportunity with both hands and simply ripping their way through to the top. Other bands may have been flamboyant and colourful but LA Guns were black, dark, smouldering and that reflected in their songs. 'Sex Action', 'No Mercy' and 'One More Reason' reflected that fact and still sound as powerful as the day they were conceived.


2.) Poison - 'Look What The Cat Dragged In' (1986)

 

Poison_CatAn instant pop glam bubblegum classic that was never bettered by the band - they may have gone on to achieve worldwide acclaim and massive sales figures but the cheap thrill, so perfectly captured here, was simply gone on future releases. Instantly catchy hits such as MTV favourite 'Talk Dirty To Me', 'Cry Tough' and the excellent title track summed up their whole ethos. This was the type of glam record that made pure thrashers and metalheads truly hate this genre such was the flamboyance of the whole Poison package. No one seemed to tell the glam purists who, despite Poison's fall from grace, simply refuse to ignore this slice of glam history. If you've never heard this or simply have not heard it for a long time, simply crank it up and smile - this wasn't made for anything other than having fun.

 

1.) .............

 

Come back tomorrow for the unveiling of the Number One album as voted by you!!!