No Sugarcoating & No Bullshit: February Print E-mail
Written by Jo Hayes   
Sunday, 24 February 2013 04:00



Hello Uber Rockers,


I hope you're settled in to the new year and aren't crying over any failed resolutions or promises.


Following on from my last blog and looking forward to fun things this year, it got me thinking about music festivals. Summer might seem far away, but with tickets already on sale for Download and already sold-out for Glastonbury (despite there being no official line-up at the time of writing this), it's good to start thinking about which ones to attend.


Now, I've been to Reading a few times, Oxegen, and of course, Download, but Glastonbury has always been one I've always wanted to try. It's just a shame to try it, you have to spend £200 on a ticket, plus everything else that goes with it.


I know that unlike other festivals, Glastonbury is all one thing, rather than having a separate camp-site and having to queue each day. I can walk about with my pre-mixed Cola and Asda Kentucky Bourbon, without having to think of where to hide it or having to down it, which makes the festival experience a much nicer one.


I happen to be one of the mugs who's bought a ticket based on the experience, so the bands could be utter shit (although if the ageing Rolling Stones play I'll be happy – especially if they played 'Exile On Main Street' in its entirety, but that's just me daydreaming).


Download where are we


From each festival experience, I learn what I should or shouldn't take with me the next time. The first time camping I should have bought more booze and food, the next time I took none, and subsequently spent more money on site, the last time I camped at a festival (when AC/DC headlined Download back in 2010), I over compensated on a big scale. I remember having to make two trips to our campsite, when our campsite was on the opposite side of the site to the car-park, in the mud whilst it was dark, bad planning indeed.


My first ever festival was a day at Reading when I was 13 years old, so it doesn't count - as I'm sure my poor Dad paid for everything. Some bugger pissed in the petrol tank though, so we broke down on the way back home, getting back at about 6am. One thing I learned there was: always make sure that the petrol tank is locked, especially at a festival where the facilities are so bad, they'll use your car!


The most interesting festival was Ben & Jerry's festival in 2011, which has to be the only festival I've ever been to with no queue to the bar – excellent! (Everyone else was queueing up for the free ice-cream) Ash played, which was worth it just for 'Kung Fu', and the Fun Loving Criminals played who were fun to watch. Most people were there for Ocean Colour Scene', who I personally can't stand - of course I spent a lot of time at the bar then!


reading muddy


My perfect festival would have to be a 'Glunk' rock style festival, with the likes of Backyard Babies, Turbonegro, Buckcherry and The Wildhearts, all playing their best albums and hits. Along with a bringing back bands from the ashes stage, with the original New York Dolls, Hanoi Rocks, Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers, with The Clash and Ramones (for a bit of Punk-Rock thrown in for good measure). All I need is a time machine for the latter and some money, and maybe it could happen...if only!


Glastonbury may be my last camping festival, as I can't rough it out like I used to. I will have an air-bed, and make sure I have a spacious tent (for all my cider as well as my bed), which will be in a quieter campsite, near some decent showers! After all that fuss, and sounding like a wuss, I would probably be much better off in a hotel, but I guess it wouldn't be the same. Plus if you look at the prices you pay for “Glamping” (getting a Yurt or staying in a Pop-Up Hotel on site), you could go on a luxury holiday or buy a second-hand car with the money, hardly worth it really.


Anyway, that's it for another month, although it felt wrong talking about summer, when it's threatening to snow again, I hope you liked reading this month's Uber Blog.


Until next time...




Sunny Glastonbury