If you, like me, have to cough back a little vomit every time an '80s band releases an album of 'choice' cover versions then perhaps you should look away now...

As fashionable as zebra-print spandex once were, the covers album is seemingly an excuse to get out of the house for almost every retro rock star who broke the cock rock coda by actually living through their addictions and downfall. But now, like them, I break my code, the cover album code, by checking out 'Rocked & Ripped' from Bulletboys, an album containing fifteen...err...classics and a re-recorded timeless tune from the band's own back catalogue.

There's one reason why I decided to swallow sick and slap this record on the decks; simply because it has what the Don Dokkens (not hair!) and Vince Neils of this rock 'n' roll world just didn't - a killer voice. Marq Torien was certainly one of the better singers forever lumped in with the hair metal brigade and the chance to hear him wail over a legion of curious tunes just got the better of me. Strange then, given my previous comment, that the opening cut of this album is a straight forward, like for like take on Motley Crue's 'Dr. Feelgood' which, while being utterly decent, offers nothing new to a song that is hardly from da Crue's best period; in fact, any reader declaring this to be Motley Crue's best period is an idiot and forever banned from this website forthwith.

If I tell you that the second song is, again, a straight forward take on a universally-known song, please don't leave me - it gets better, honest. 'Livin' On A Prayer' is a song that I could possibly live without ever hearing again and, even with the sonically-righteous Torien larynx wrapped around it, nothing changes. Eddie Money's 'Take Me Home Tonight' is an honourable stab at a classic, keeping the cheese factor high, for better or worse - better to these ears. Journey's 'Faithfully' is up next and Torien nails it....until the end where he wails it - almost, Marq, almost.

Now things start to get interesting. The version here of 'Balls To The Wall', the Accept metal classic, is just the kind of thing that you'd hope to hear on an album such as this, the band stamping their own take all over the original - this is a curio worth checking out. The next track, Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin', not so - simply too bland to really demand attention. 'Renegade', the Styx track, is decent, the Scorpions cover, 'Falling In Love', with George Lynch, Chuck Garric and Steve Muthafuckin' Riley guesting, also. Then it all goes wrong with 'Fuckin' Perfect', the Pink song seemingly included simply because of the use of profanity - how edgy.

Led Zeppelin's 'The Rover' brings things back up to speed and you just know that Torien is gonna go all out to nail a tune like this, vocally. 'I'll See You In My Dreams' is, apparently, a song by Giant; as my AOR collection is forever under construction this version is the first time I have ever heard the song, thereby making it the ultimate version. I can feel the estrogen rising in my body as its subtle strains ring out. 'Colder Weather' by the Zac Brown Band appears next and is thoroughly decent.

Now we're into debating team territory; 'Rehab', the Amy Winehouse song that the mere thought of being covered by a US hair metal band sends shivers of upset down my spine, is..is....good. I know, I can't believe it myself. Torien's voice suits this down to the ground - a bizarre winner. As is the next track, 'Broken Wings', the seminal piece of cheesy listening/driving rock (fuck you cheese deciders!) that forms part of one of my only vices - '80s hits. I love 'em and I don't care what you say....unless you say that you love them too because, if you do, we can get together at my place and dance to VH-1's Friday Night '80s Disco and..well..who knows?....

Anyway, I digress; this take on the Mr Mister classic is great - faithful to the original until rocking it up come glorious chorus time, this is the kinda shit you want from an album like this.

Elton John's 'Tiny Dancer' is upon us and we're almost done and dusted, let alone rocked and ripped. This version is good, have to admit it - good vocals from Torien, as expected. The final track is one of those other things that is now expected of '80s bands - a re-recorded version of a classic from their own back catalogue; 'Smooth Up In Ya' was/is a great tune, I'm always happy to be taken back on a sentimental journey to times of desperate sexual solitude. The thing is, from the off Marq's voice just ain't on it as much as it should be and, immediately, you know that this is gonna pale into insignificance in comparison to the original, if that was ever not going to be the case....

With Lonnie Vencent back in the band and, as well as featuring the aforementioned cock rock commandos, Bang Tango's always cool Kyle Kyle troubling his four-stringed plank on a few tunes, there have been worse times in the history of the Bulletboys.....but there have been way better records. If this becomes a fixture on your iPod then, seriously, you have severe issues. For curiosity value alone, this is worth hunting down...just don't pay too much for it.

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