Panzer Princess - 'Oh No It's Panzer Princess' (Self Released) Print
CD Reviews
Written by Dom Daley   
Saturday, 10 October 2009 11:52

panzerprincess"Lets go Panzer perverts", what a cracking intro to set the tempo for this ragtag and bobtailed collection. The spirit of 'Bangkok Shocks' and 'Oriental Beat' is alive and well and shaking it's shit in this glamhag gang called Panzer Princess (uh, wtf is Panzer Princess anyway?).


Don't worry 'bout the name, neither judge the band by the cover nor the amount of make up and hairspray. Instead let's concentrate on this full(ish) debut album, all 8 tracks, well 7 and a half really as the last one lasts less than a minute. These boys understand what it takes to make great music, end of. Forget some of the clichéd and frankly absurd lyrics, instead wrap yourself up in the total gutter glam punk rock of these four bastud sons of Mike and Andy. Think back to around 79 DC, Aerosmith up til the early 80's, a bit of the Soho Roses, Hanoi for the first two classic albums and you're almost there. Add just a sprinkling of Generation X when Billy Idol was cool, two ounces of the New York Dolls and a shot or two of what we'll call 'Guns n Pussycat'.


The set opener, wonderfully entitled, 'Ass Hole, Bastard (Son Of A Bitch)' - "scumbag retard piece of shit" apparently! - is the mutt's nuts, honestly! Just some advice gents, if your girl called you that then you're better off without her. Moving on. Crank up and enjoy track two, 'A Mess' which has a neat riff to kick things off, not unlike DC under Bon, then it sounds like Paul Dianno in the verses (when Maiden sounded a bit punky) then a reet catchy chorus; this is da bomb bruvs and sisters. Track three - 'No Good' - is the stand out track of this little collection of jems; a lush slide riff that Joe Perry used to peddle, then a superb toe-tap-tastic chorus. It's loose, it's tight, it's sloppy, it's rough, it's also quality and it's got some great axe work and plenty of magic.


'Sadat Bloody Sadat' sounds, on the intro, like 'Mr Brownstone' meets 'Rocket Queen's cooler brother before leaving for a dirty party. They even manage to get the lyric "lick my balls" into the song 'Gag Me, Cuff Me' - honestly - and it's got hand claps. Penultimate track 'Rob The Bank' is pure DC riffage on a Hanoi melody; "Hands up ladies and germs, we gonna rob the bank and when the money's in the back, it's time to paint the town" - friggin eh!  Unfortunately for me 'Oh No!' brings this album to an abrupt end, sounding like the ferkin' Exploited.


The Panzer boys have left the building but they have also left an impression on me. Daft lyrics, killer riffs, plenty of attitude, good songs, hand claps - just about got the Jewson lot, fair play.  Now rob the bank, you bastards, and get another CD done - if it's half as good as this one I'll be delighted.