Chesty Malone And The Slice 'Em Ups - 'Now We're Gonna See What Disaster Really Means' (Wrecked Records) Print E-mail
CD Reviews
Written by Gaz E   
Tuesday, 29 September 2009 00:28

1chestycdIf you never checked out the music of Chesty Malone And The Slice 'Em Ups after reading guitarist Anthony Allen Van Hoek's gruesome and great entry in Uber Rock's 'Hell's Gigs' section then, not only are you pretty fucking stupid, but also denying yourself an awesome aural assault on the senses.


'Now We're Gonna See What Disaster Really Means' boasts a devil's dozen of horror-fuelled killer kuts - an unlucky thirteen in less than twenty eight seedy minutes that leave chaos in their wake. From opener 'Satan Met A Lady' to tender love ballad (yeah, right!) closer 'Beavershot', this album from the Brooklyn based bruisers flies by like a murderous muscle car. The band and album are like a debauched detour to Dead End Drive-In made flesh. Wanna know the 'Trouble With Cannibals'? Look no further!


Frontwoman Jaqueline Blownaparte turns in a performance worthy of gaining her the title of First Lady of Badass - think Tura Satana in a peroxide satanic panic. The three guys..umm....bringing up her rear are no pretenders either, a terror trio of punk rock 'n' roll.


With an autopsy-turvy arsenal of killer, B-movie themed trashy tunes in their locker, Chesty Malone And The Slice 'Em Ups fuse Misfits with metal and this album really is a righteous rock 'n' roll riot. 'Livereaters', 'Skincrawl', 'Ghouls & Gangs' - arsenic-laced anthems just waiting to poison your stereo. '13 Killers' threatens to ease up on the feral ferocity for a second but, with a checklist of your favourite mass murderers as lyrics - including a tip of the hat to the UK's most notorious - turns into another neck-breaker as quickly as its subjects.


If you like horror movies, punk rock and ass-kicking albums - like me! - then this shit is for you! The band are currently working on their next album - to be called 'Torture Rock'- and I, personally, can't friggin' wait! Great band!


Check 'em out at


Check out Anthony's Gig From Hell Anthology Of Atrocity here!!!!!