|Dick Venom & the Terrortones - 'The Monsterpussy Sessions' (Jailhouse Morgue Records)|
|Written by Gaz E|
|Wednesday, 09 July 2014 04:00|
There have been times, in the not-too-distant past, when promo discs have turned up at ÜRHQ accompanied by a bit of a sweetener, a little token of a band's appreciation for the glowing write-up you will hopefully afford them: an embossed plectrum perhaps, a disposable lighter featuring the undecipherable logo of a desperate black metal band; you get the picture. Sometimes, however, a band pushes this act of giving to its very limits...
The jiffy bag that contained the new EP from the gloriously monikered Dick Venom & the Terrortones arrived at PO Box 666 with a trio of surprises that fell out into my lap in an orgy of discovery, debauchery, and downright devilishness. First, a miniature lipstick rechristened a 'dickstick'; then a tampon, unused, with a band sticker administered to its husk; then, finally, and most impressively of all, a condom, fifteen months out of date, stickered once again, but this time, and this was the deal-sealer, with an errant pubic hair poking out from its adhesive backing.
The thing is, I was already familiar with the sleazy 'n' not-so-subtle strains of Mr. Venom and his Terrortones - these gifts were merely a bonus. The real bonus, however, came in the form of the EP itself....available in physical format on cassette only. Yes, the five-track tape that followed its cheeky brethren out of the aforementioned jiffy was destined to impress me anyway....and so it should you too.
What's that? You don't own a tape deck any longer? Shame on you....but fear not, for the extended player is available in its entirety as a free download.
What you'll get for your troubles are five tracks recorded live in the studio, the Terrortones throwing every one of their retro, trashy, garage punk influences at the wall, kitsch-en sink an' all, and making a noisy piece of art out of all that stick.
Part Cramps, part Fuzztones, part Meteors, part Elvis, part Stooges, Dick Venom & the Terrortones are a cooler-than-thou throwback to B-movie drive-ins, surf rock, juvenile delinquent flicks, camp horror and sleazy 42nd street porn theatres...yet based out of Nottingham. Location, as anyone will discover with just one press of the cassette deck's play button, matters not when the sonics on offer are this fucked-up and, ultimately, fuckable.
'Valley of the Alligator Girls' ushers in this unearthly exercise in schlock rock, a full-bodied garage rock 'n' roller, followed by the more sedate 'Bellyslam City' which threatens to dip a clawed-toe into new wave waters at times. 'Crypt Tonight' is corpse cool and oh-so-simple....yet simply outstanding. 'Dead Deadbeat Delinquent' could be the soundtrack to a women-in-prison flick filmed in the Philippines and starring Pam Grier, Dyanne Thorne and Erica Gavin, while EP closer 'No Good To Get Up To' is a wailing banshee of a tune that makes you want to flip the tape over and play the whole thing all over again: yes, the cassette plays the same on both sides.
Dick Venom & the Terrortones have always been cool, but with 'The Monsterpussy Sessions' and a combination of dickstick, live studio recording, cassette and complete lack of fucks given this curious bunch have scaled heights previously unchartered. Fuck knows where they'll go next, but I can't wait to find out.
Download 'The Monsterpussy Sessions' for free at http://terrortones.bandcamp.com or be one of the kool kids and pick this monstrous mofo up on dark black cassette.